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<Warning: contains violence, swearing, and blood.>
Resident Evil 4:
Ashley The Retard-
Chapter 1
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“Ashley,” Leon called out looking around the old, abandoned house, “where are ya’?” Suddenly, the sound of a toilet flushing was heard and shortly after, a dumb looking bimbo came walking out from a door down the hall. "Yup, that's her alright," Leon said to himself as he eyed the stupid expression that always seem to lay plastered on her face and took note of the fact that she was walking like she had just shit in her pants. “Ashley, what were you doing in there?” Leon asked looking down at the piece of dirty toilet paper stuck to her shoe and grimacing at the nasty smell that was coming off of her. "I thought I told you to stay with me, it's not safe for you to be alone around these parts."
“I know, but I really needed to use the bathroom and you were busy buying stuff from that weird guy with a cloak," she said with a smile, "Sorry I took so long. I was constipated.” She then took off out the front door while skipping and humming leaving Leon with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Leon shook his head and did a quick face-palm before heading out the door after her.
“Ashley, wait," he called as she continued to skip down the path while singing along to a Backstreet Boy’s song, “We have to stay together!” She completely ignored him and the fact that there was a Ganado hiding in the bushes up ahead. Leon hadn’t seen the Ganado yet and he was busy doing another head-to-hand when he heard Ashley talking to someone. He quickly looked up, curious to see who she was talking to.
“Hi, my name is Ashley,” she smiled at the Ganado, who was walking towards her with an axe, while holding out her right hand (which was probably unwashed), “Let’s be friends!”
“Ashley, run,” Leon yelled as he took out his handgun from his gun belt and started to load it.
“Leon, come meet my new friend,” Ashley waved over to Leon, “He’s really nice and says he wants to chop our heads off.”
"Since when does she understand Spanish?", Leon thought to himself, just as the Ganado was about to strike Ashley with his axe. Leon aimed and shot him right on the head and then twice more, just to make sure he was dead. "That was close," he thought.
“Why did you kill my friend?” Ashley demanded as Leon ran up behind her, catching up. Just as he did, another Ganado appeared from behind the bushes and lunged himself towards Leon. Leon quickly turned around and did one of his karate kicks before taking out his loaded handgun.
“Ashley, stay back,” he commanded as the Ganado took out his axe and was getting ready to swing at them.
“Don’t kill him,” Ashley yelled, “He just wants to be friends!”
Leon fired his handgun twice before responding, “Ashley, this guy is swinging at us with an axe like a maniac and you think he wants to be friends?!” One last shot sent the Ganado and his axe to the ground as a pool of blood began to surround him. Leon wiped away the sweat from his forehead and took a sigh of relief as he put his handgun back away.
“You killed him,” Ashley yelled giving Leon a weak slap on the shoulder, “Poor little guy and all he wanted was to be friends!”
Leon couldn't take it anymore, “How about, thanks for saving my ass Leon or you did really good back there Leon?!”
Ashley placed her hands on her hips like a spoiled, little, rich girl (which, ironically, she was) and shot Leon a mad look, “You’re just jealous!”
“Jealous?” Leon raised an eyebrow while fixing his black, fingerless gloves.
“You’re just jealous that I’m so popular and everyone wants to be my friend!” she yelled, not making any sense like she thought she was.
Leon couldn’t help but laugh, “Ashley, if you think these guys want to be your friend, then you’ve got another thing coming. Why do you think your father sent me out to rescue you?”
“Rescue me from what?!” Ashley asked confused, “I don’t need anyone to rescue me!”
Leon took a deep sigh before speaking again,“Ashley, just do me one favor.”
“What favor?” Ashley asked crossing her arms across her chest.
“Just shut the hell up and follow me,” Leon answered as he started heading down the path.
Ashley didn’t budge, “Saddler said if I went with him I could see his big sausage and I’m hungry. Anyways, he's way nicer to me than you are!”
Leon stopped, “Ashley trust me, he didn’t mean that kind of sausage, now just shut-up and follow me!”
“Fine,” Ashley yelled, “You leave all by yourself while I go have some nice grilled sausage at Saddler’s house. He might even cook me eggs and bacon,” she added.
“Are you really that stupid?!” Leon turned around right before Ashley took off skipping. “Why do I get stuck chasing that idiot?!” he muttered under his breath as he took off after her once again. "I'm always getting myself stuck in stupid situations," he thought to himself, "but then again, the president never told me that his daughter was retarded."
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That's it for now! I know, it was pretty short, but if you guys like it I promise I'll make the next chapter longer.
Thanks for reading!
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